About that running thing…
My new runners which were christened in California and are patiently awaiting their Aotearoa debut
Why, yes, it continues that “I am a runner“. Thank you for asking. Well, OK my original plan has been a bit altered and I am essentially starting over, but still…
If you may recall, I’d decided to do a sofa to 5k- type running plan and I was really enjoying it for a good three weeks. But then my time got sucked up. Prior to this point I’d pretty much blamed becoming a new Mum as the reason that I no longer had time to do things for myself, but it turns out the kid is not actually the one to blame. Once I started thinking about when I could run, there was a very small window between when my husband came home and dinner time. Any time after that would see me too wired to sleep. Yep, fine. But then my husband’s work started getting mad out of control with managers jetting in who needed to be taken out for dinner (This makes it sound so grand to be in education, does it not?) accreditation audits that needed to be prepared for, etc. Long-short, my small window disappeared. Yes, I admit that I sulked.
But we had a talk and somehow he’s managed to organise so that I can have two days a week for running. Wednesday, Friday and I can sneak a run in at the weekend. That just sounds grand, but theory is not practice. Things come up like clingy ill children, ill adults, unplanned meet ups, birthday parties, one-year celebrations and trips abroad. I’ve felt myself slipping into the idea that I am not meant to do this.
“Shake it off!”, I tell myself. “I AM meant to do this.”
So, I’m shifting my viewpoint. Rather than regretting my lack of running time at the end of every week, I am just trying to be grateful for all the sessions I can get in. Yes, my progress is going to be a lot slower, but I need to remind myself that I’m doing this for my own health and enjoyment, not to win any sort of contest. Shall I abandon the ‘Sofa to 5K’ rubric? I don’t think so. If I have to stay on week 6 of the plan for two months, so be it. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
How do you compromise on your goals? How much compromise is too much?
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Love the questions posed, and share the frustration of time vs goals. Ironic that I often use my running time to ponder…and I’m so sure a better reply could be written had I got time for a run?! However a end of the day pre slumber reply it will have to be.
In my humble opinion it comes down to control. Every day I set little goals…to do lists. These typically include a couple of phone calls, emails, bill payments, and sundry chores. I cheat. I include some tasks I have already done so I can pop a neat tick beside them and get an immediate feel good factor, and sense of control. I compromise my honesty to feel in control. With the bigger goals in life there are so many other factors that sneak in and nibble away at my time, energy, and emotional resources that before you know it I’m out of control and compromised to the hilt!
So I’ll let you into a secret. I’m trying a new technique called boundaries. I’ve not used the ones I’ve had very well and I’m putting a few different ones into place. I’ll let you know how I go, and when I finally write an honest to do list!
Well here’s my mantra from day one of starting to run: “Be gentle with yourself.” Because I am not a natural runner, I knew if I HATED every minute of it and was stressing myself out on my “goals” I would stop and that was not what I wanted. So if I made weekly goals, and that broke down to daily goals. If one day I was supposed to do 3 miles and I was really tired (truly tired) I would tell myself, just one more mile and then one more after that – basically I just kept breaking it down. Most importantly, if I was scuttled bu others plans or schedules, I just shifted my daily goal to the next day or the next – and at the end of the week I looked at a weekly total. Also very important was not beating myself up if I missed a day because it is just as important to take a break at least every two days to let your body heal, which I never knew before, i thought you had to go go go go go. So this is how I compromised with my perfectionist self. I should also note that I was only really and truly able to get this going without a ton of Mommy guilt when both the kids were in school for 6 hours a day at the same place. Up until then I was more challenged with time issues to be sure. Find your gentle mantra and follow it… it all comes in time. Yoga has been a good addition to my running regimen – helps with the whole being gentle with myself thingy
You ARE meant to do it. And 3 days a week sounds totally reasonable. You wouldn’t want to go all-out crazy.
I’m also trying to figure out how to sandwich in all the goals I made for myself and my new job (which sadly does not involve taking managers out to dinner… I think I need to find a new job). Sadly, things aren’t going that well for my goals. Hopefully this week I’ll get a handle on everything.
No! Nobody is talking about going crazy here. Certainly not me. Mildly mad, perhaps, but crazy? That’s just silly talk. Give yourself a break on the ol’ goal thing. You’ve only just resettled, haven’t you? Or, would you even call it being settled yet? I thought it was really clever how you got right into your new job. That’s always the big worry in moving over and over…when the first paycheck coming? I’ve noticed you’ve found wings and cheese, but have you found a good place to run yet?
Wait until he’s in school?! That’s a whole lotta chocolate-eating hours to fill beforehand but I think I could do it. Funny you mentioning the break thing. Everything I read in my lead up to doing the Sofa to 5k has been about how you should NOT cheat, meaning doing more than you were scheduled for because it could lead to injury. I was like, “Who the hell would do more than necessary” until I got into it and became that dog straining at the lead and barking at the squirrel (Did I just insult myself?). But that totally makes sense to me and it also keeps me from burning out. I tend to be a “Oh cool! Look at this shiny thing! I love this shiny thing. This shiny thing is fun. I am so over this shiny thing. Oh look at THAT shiny thing” kind of girl, so by spacing out my running days it gives me the chance to feel the slight ache that tells me I’m actually achieving something before shaking it off in the next run. Sort of leaving you hungry for more, well, a bit peckish anyway. If I’d just started running everyday, it would all be over by now. I’m also vaguely trying to revisit my yogini days:) Are you still doing Bikram?
Hey, I like comments, “end of the day pre-slumber” or otherwise. Now, cheating on a to do list sounds like a great idea. I think I’m going to add things like ‘think about biscuits’ and ‘drink tea’ to my list. I’ll certainly deserve a break after ticking off two whole categories. Things like ‘do my taxes’ can just slip down a bit. Like you said, it’s all about boundaries. Are you running again yet? I keep thinking about how that pub is almost in the middle of us. I think it would be about a 20 minute run away for me. It’s getting back that will be a problem, but let’s not worry about that until we have to.