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I thought we had an agreement, you and I. This time of the afternoon was to be reserved so that you could sleep in your lovely bed and recharge and I could sit down to the computer in an attempt to salvage any possible remaining bits of my writing career that have been left out there hanging in the wind. But, I can see it in your eyes that you are not going to play the game today. Sure, I’ll keep up the charade by sitting with you for a few minutes to rub your ears and sing my ridiculous version of Mary Had a Little Lamb (I pity the teacher who discovers that you think these are the real lyrics). Sure, I’ll put your gentle music on and listen for you in the monitor as if all is well. I’ll make my cup of tea and settle down in front of the screen. But I can tell that today, I won’t be settled for long before you call me back with something.
“Music off, please”
“Where’s Daddy?” “At work” “At work?” “Yes, at work.” “At work?” etc.
“Drink, please”
“Music on, please”
“Read Brown Bear, please” “We’ve just read it. You can read it again in your bed if you want.” “Yes, please.” **I walk away to hear the thud of it hitting the floor**
“I’m awake!” “You haven’t been to sleep yet. Back in bed, please.”
“Mummy, mummy!”
*sigh*
Guess what? I’ve got some new sleeping music for you. It’s Christmas music. Do you want to listen to it? “Yes.”
I really don’t know if this is going to work and I’ve learnt that I can’t assume I’ll get any work time in, but I’m crossing my fingers and sipping my now cold tea in hopes. I can do positive thinking. I have faith in you. You can do it!
But when I hear lots of noise in the monitor, I know it’s over. I’m afraid to look because you know how sometimes you settle down if I don’t look. But I’ve waited…in limbo…and it’s gone a bit quiet and I need to know…
There you are, but not in your bed. You’ve pulled down your pillow and the beautiful quilt my friend made you and are holed up in the doorway next to the CD player.
No, this is not the original agreement we had about you sleeping in your lovely bed so I could get some work done and you could recharge. But what can I say because I, too, love sleeping on the floor, and sleeping to music, and enjoying precious things like the quilt my friend made you. And, most of all, I like breaking the rules, just a little bit, just like you.


Sorry for the silence. I’ve had a run of work (which is good!) and now I’m chilling out for a bit out in New Zealand. Well, you know I live here, but I mean that I’m out of the city for a short while to get some fresh air. See you soon and hooray for freelancing!

…for me to learn how to use my camera properly. Seriously, I’ve never learned how to use it properly and just fumble round with buttons until I get some sort of result, or worse, the opportunity is gone. I’ve somehow picked up this vague notion of adjusting for light conditions, but it was a few years back when I used film. In fact, I guess that’s my problem. I was just getting the hang of film and then I got my DSLR in Japan and made the changeover about 4 years ago, but have never got to grips with the technology. And this extends to Photoshop.
I like to joke that hey, my photos are all natural. None have been touched up. The truth is it’s only because I’ve got no idea how to use Photoshop. I’ve got a digital camera in my mitts, but my head is stuck in the film era.
The final straw was when I needed to write a bio and send a photo of myself for an article I recently wrote for matador.com. I looked in my files for a pic of me and proceeded to search for Photoshop on my computer. It had pretty much buried itself in the ‘never used files’ basement of my computer.
OK, I’ve got the thing open…OK, I’ve got the photo on the table…now crop, crop…hmmmmmmm? Right! I’ve found it! God, I’m such a dork! OK, I’ve cropped the photo to the needed size and save. Shit! No! Dammit! I fricking went and rewrote the original file, didn’t I? Since it was a photo a student had taken of me in Thailand I guess I now have to practice some serious Buddhist non-attachment and say goodbye to that one.
There are two community ed programmes within driving distance of my house and I hope one of them has a teacher who is up for a challenge.

That’s it! I’ve decided. I’m a reasonably intelligent woman, who thinks she can write reasonably well, and who doesn’t want to work for other people any more. This was some of the thinking that prompted me to launch my food blog in order to get something out there. So, I thought I’d give myself until the end of the year to research the possibilities of freelance writing. I mean, the actual writing is one thing, but I’m the first to admit that I know nada about the industry.
The universe tends to provide, methinks, as all of a sudden I’ve met two writers in the past week. It seems I need to start building up a portfolio of work and commercial writing seems to be a way to do it. I was thinking that could be my bread and butter and anything else I do would be a bonus at the beginning. Do I know what I am talking about? Hell no!
I’m not sure how you get to know just what types of opportunities and avenues there are out there, but I’ve started reading everything I can get my hands on. Still hoping for that 26 hour clock to set in. I’ve always worked with words, but I guess I’d have had a better feel for the market if I’d studied journalism or some such at uni…well, too late. But I’m thinking that my knowledge of travel, food and education can be channeled somewhere.
Yes, this post is me thinking out loud…and maybe a cry for help…and full of bad writing (This won’t be in the aforementioned portfolio!), but I’m determined. OK universe. Bring it!

And the moral of the story is…
Originally uploaded by Shanti, shanti
…always shoot in RAW. Dammit!
I was contacted through Flickr by someone who wanted to buy one of my photos. It took me ages to work out how much to charge for it and then draw up a contract. The buyer was a group of art students who were contracted to do the art in a cruise ship owned by Norwegian Cruise Lines. So, she told me that my photo would be enlarged and hung in a tryptich with one from another photographer, and one from a photo library. The bad part is coming…look away now if you are squeamish.
I finally located the external hard drive that had the photo in question and found that it was a Jpeg. WTF!? It was a photo I’d taken quite early on and I had no idea about these things then…in fact I don’t know enough now, but I’m learning quickly. So, to make a long story longer, there was no way a Jpeg could be enlarged to the size they needed so I lost the sale. Bugger.
I’m trying to be Zen about it all. I really did learn something here. It’s pretty impractical to take photos in RAW all the time since I haven’t got the capacity to save all of that stuff, but the next time I’m travelling, or at least “in the zone” as far as taking photos, I’ll be sure to switch over. You never know what could happen.